First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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