My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
