i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
