you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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