Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
