Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
