just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
