i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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