you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Mom said you looked used
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
