I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have aggressive nipples.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
