At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize