ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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