You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize