why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
