You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
