I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
