I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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