sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
