I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
we should paint friendship bongs
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