he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
