Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
