I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
