Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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