Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
