Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
