Already got asked if we're dating
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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