I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
