you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
