So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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