im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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