I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
