I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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