i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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