I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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