Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can I color on your dick again?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
