Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
