U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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