Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
