if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
