Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
