perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
