I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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