no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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