I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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