I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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