I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
