So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
