i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
