Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
too bad you live with your parents still
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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