Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize