hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
