I think my vagina is haunted
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
