I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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