I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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