I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize