If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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