The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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