And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
