kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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