Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
