some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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