you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
