We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My vagina is officially offended.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
