Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
