Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
where am i from again
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
